Whew! It's been awhile since I wrote here. I just didn't want to blog about my lack of progress. It makes me feel like I've failed even more.
I'm constantly thinking about writing. I'll think up characters and try to figure a situation for them to springboard off of and I just go blank. I miss the days where my character just didn't stay quiet. And I'd have to write notes to myself so I wouldn't forget an idea. Now...I just struggle to even get an idea.
But...In about 2 weeks, it's NaNoWriMo time. Once again, I plan to attempt 50,000 words. This year seems rather daunting since I can't seem to get passed my characters. Plot, setting, cause-effect, it's all just BLANK! I'm tempted to be a rebel this year, and attempt to pick up my original NaNo project.
I know a lot of my blockage is due to my circumstances right now. Being where you don't want to be, longing to be somewhere else, lacking finances to do anything...it weighs you down. Will a change in my location make a difference? I don't know, but it might. But until then, I just have to keep finding other methods to try and jumpstart my writing again.
Don't forget to check out NaNoWriMo.org and sign up if you want to try writing 50,000 words in November.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Posted by Ellie at 2:26 PM
Sunday, August 15, 2010
I have been thinking a lot lately about my Muse. How she still eludes me. How nothing just seems to flow together or progress past a couple of lines. My characters have grown silent for the most part, both new and old.
One thing I've realized is that my Muse was most active when my Grandma was alive and living here with me. I think some how my Muse and my Grandma were connected. I think perhaps that when my Grandma passed away, in some fashion, my Muse died too. Or at least that form of my Muse.
I've been trying so hard to revive or awaken my Muse that was. But perhaps, it is best I let her lie and it is time to seek out a new Muse. My desire to write hasn't changed, but maybe my Muse has changed.
I've been under a great deal of stress, worry and fear. I know that all that has been, I'm sure, hindering my Muse from being heard in whatever form she might be. Or perhaps my Muse is no longer a female as I thought, but maybe I have a male Muse? Maybe it is time to let go of what was, and look to inspiration from what is and who is in my life. Perhaps my Muse is hiding in my Beloved and I've just been too blinded by everything else to see or hear it.
I once read that Muse was feminine for Inspiration. So what is masculine for Inspiration?
Posted by Ellie at 3:01 PM
Friday, July 2, 2010
I think I find this to be one of the harder parts of getting started. Is the naming of the characters and places. I like to use Seventh Sanctum and Serendipity a lot for random generators on place names, they've even spit a few potential character names.
One of my problems is that my character seem to want to have there names of Celtic origin. Maybe it's just that so many of the names sound magical or mystical. And when I think of settings, my mind automatically envisions Medieval England or Ireland or Scotland, or at least some where rural if it were to be modern day but very untouched by the advances of our day. So naturally my places need to have some sort of magical, mystical, possibly Celtic sounding name(s) as well.
It's rare that I get a character that will pop into my head and tell me their name as Declan did. While I would I supposed consider myself a 'panster', I don't really plot my story per se. I have a general idea of what the story is, any ideas about plot, conflicts, characters, etc I will jot down in a note book I dedicate to the project. I can't really plot out, outline, diagram, chart, whatever...I find it holds me back and I need to be free. But writer's block aside...I find that the naming process holds me up quite a bit...I just can't write generic names till I find the right one. That would be like...well if I called my daughter "Baby" or "Hey You" until I found a suitable name for her. It's just something I need to know before I sit to write their stories.
I just wish they were all more like Declan. *SIGH*
Posted by Ellie at 6:47 PM
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Okay...so I just heard about JulNoWriMO. I know, I know...wtf is that? Well, If you've heard of NaNoWriMo, you'll understand.
Basically it's write 50,000 words approximately 175 pages in the month of July. Similar to the NaNo held in November. Seems like there's almost one for every month of the year. Maybe I did know about this one and forgot? I dunno. But thanks to Julie, I now know about it (again?).
I'm desperate to try anything to kick start my Muse. I feel her stirring sometimes, like she's been cast into a long deep sleep and she's struggling to wake up. But every time I start to think about writing...anything...I go blank. I mean it's like any thought, even a minor twinkle of a scene...if I even try to start to write...POOF! it's gone.
I truly think part of it is linked to the loss of my grandma 3 and 1/2 years ago. She took ill in the middle of NaNo. I was doing okay with it writing everyday. Then she got sick and went into the hospital...everything else went on hold. She came home a week later, and died with in the week. Cancer is a cruel heartless bitch, let me tell ya. But since then...I've not been able to write.
My mind used to be flooding with scenes and plot ideas, so many I couldn't write them all down. Now...all I see is a blank wall...or a dark pit...I see nothing, I can't hear my Muse...it's too quiet and I miss her.
But I've got to try something...anything. And even IF I don't hit 50,000 words, which I don't expect to. And that's okay, I just want to be able to write...to get something started or pick up my WiP. SOMETHING! ANYTHING!!!! Even a few thousand words would be a success at this point.
So call my crazy...but I've got to try something.
Posted by Ellie at 12:53 PM
Monday, June 28, 2010
I wasn't always a reader. I started out with the mindset that I read enough with my school work that I didn't want to read for fun. But then around 12 years old, I discovered Laura Ingalls Wilder. Well, it wasn't a hard find really, I was watching the Little House series on TV. So I decided to check out the books and I fell in love. While I was reading Laura's tales, I also discovered Judy Blume. "Blubber" and "Are You There God, It's Me Margret?" were favorites to read. I ventured into other YA reads of my middle grade years. One I read several times by high school was Judy Blume's "Forever".
In high school, I was introduced to V.C. Andrews by a friend. I started with "Flowers in the Attic" and couldn't put her books down. I inhaled them all. And when I ran out of her books to read, I started over with "Flowers". I was quite sad with Ms. Andrews died, for I thought that meant no more books. But thanks to a ghost writer, her stories continue. Though I don't find him as good as her, they are still good in their own right.
I've read stuff by different authors as I grew older...the likes of Jackie Collins, Catherine Coulter, Dan Brown. But much as I liked their books, nothing beats those of my idols.
My idols being Kit Berry, J.K. Rowling and J.R.R. Tolkien. I think it will be fair to say I will be able to add Marion Zimmer Bradley to the list by the time I'm done with her books. Rowling weaves the tales of young witches and wizards and magic in a way I can only dream. Tolkien brings elves and dwarves to life, and wrote in such a way I could actually envision Middle Earth. And Kit...her tales of Stonewylde are so vivid that again I could visualize the scenes as I read them.
I have much to learn about writing. I'm always too worried about if I'd be doing it right or wrong. Should I plot or fly by the seat of my pants? Should I worry so much about showing more and telling less? How can I build my world and my characters into believable entities?
I can only hope that one day I will be even a smidgen of the greatest my idols are.
Posted by Ellie at 5:13 PM
Monday, May 17, 2010
I've majorly fallen behind in the challenge. My Muse is refusing to cooperate. I take out my notebook to write and I get nothing. When I do write I feel like I'm writing a "Dick and Jane" story.
So her I am sitting stuck at roughly 4 pages and I don't know what to do. I hate failing. Of course, it's 4 pages more than I'd written in months but still. I feel like I'm failing because this is such a doable challenge.
UGH! I really, really need my Muse to come home. Heck I'd even settle for a new one if she abandoned me for good.
Posted by Ellie at 8:25 AM
Friday, May 7, 2010
Today was a little slower then I'd have liked. Only managed to get just over a half page done.
I need to spend some time hashing out the couple of characters I do have at the moment. So that I know who and what I'm working with. It's hard working on a story when you don't know your characters too well. Unlike when I was working on my NaNo story 3 years ago...my main character just wouldn't be quiet. But Declan, he's very quiet...I'm trying to figure him out, but he's not helping me. He seems quite stubborn and the silent.
Hopefully Day 3 will be more productive.
Posted by Ellie at 11:52 PM
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Made it through the first day. I was a bit skeptical if I could. I have Declan who keeps popping into my head but I don't know too much about him. So the way I'm portraying him know could change if this goes anywhere. Part of me wants to tie him into a previous WiP I have...but I don't know how I'd do that yet...if I do it. I'd have to rework where my original idea for that one was going.
But 1 page down, 55 more to go.
Posted by Ellie at 8:53 PM
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
I've participated in NaNoWriMo in the past, and well for one reason or another I never finish it. But here's one that starts tomorrow that seems a bit more doable, and maybe it will help me to prepare for the next NaNo in November.
I heard about this challenge from Julie over at Julie Is Writing. It's being hosted by Swimmer.
One page a day starting May 6th and ending June 30th. Seems completely doable, I sort of despise word counts, though I know they are a necessary evil. Check out Swimmer's page for all the rules and Good Luck.
Posted by Ellie at 2:44 PM
Writing's always been a passion. When I was in my teens I wrote a lot of poetry, all of which was lost unfortunately.
Nowadays, my writing is story based. Though, lacking...my Muse seems to have taken an extended vacation. She sends me the occasional postcard but it's not enough. I want to lure her back somehow. I want, need to get back to writing even if it's just for myself.
I thought this might be a good place to track my progress or lack there of, which ever the case may be. My passion to write is in the fantasy realm, with dragons, elves, faeries, gnomes, witches and wizards...castles and the like.
Her latest postcard to me was of a man named Declan. He's a Highlander. Hiding amongst the common folk, trying to escape his life as a Duke or Earl or some big shot (don't have that detail yet)...possibly a king even. But he's forced to reveal or reclaim his lands when they begin to fall into ruin and war. He has few friends that stand by his side...Elves and faerie folk of course.
Posted by Ellie at 2:35 PM